I write this blog to tell about my journey of playing high
school soccer with a cerebral palsy and I feel like I wouldn’t be telling the
whole journey if I didn’t tell everything
that is currently happening. A few days ago I wrote a post and it seemed as
if things were going pretty good but it always feels like when I have good
news, the next time around I experience a setback. Last night I got an email
from the coach explaining that there is going to be a very high number of girls
trying out and therefor there will be player cut from rosters. I never expected to be guaranteed a place
on any team but as the policy has been that no players get cut in past years
this dream of mine to play on a high school soccer team is going to be a lot
harder than I expected. I was hoping that because of the no cut policy I would
be able to make a team and then try to establish a relationship with my coach
so that I could make a plan to become as fit as possible and try to figure out
what my role would be on the team.
There are going to be about 60-70 girls trying out and only
about 50 roster spots. Realistically looking at my fitness I am the perfect
player to get cut. Being a junior and this being only my second year in the
program that’s not in my favor, also my abilities as a player hinder me. I’ve
got skill from playing so many years but my ability to run fast and turn fast is
lessened because of my disability. In my perfect world fitness and ability
would not be what makes the final decision. It would be my determination, love
and knowledge for the beautiful game. I know I’d be lucky if maybe a hundred
people have come across my blog and read it and know my story. It would be awesome
if that one kid with a disability read my blog and got inspired to play sports
or even just fulfill a dream they thought they would never accomplish. As for
my love for the game and knowledge I can tell I probably know more about the
game of soccer and love it more than half the people who are going to try out. Sometimes
I think I’m crazy wanting this dream and that of course there are better
players out there that deserve a roster spot but this dream of mine means more
to me that another thing in the world right now.
At my school I know of about 8 other kids who have Cerebral
Palsy and not one of them plays sports. The only person who I saw with disability
who played sports was a senior last year who was in a wheelchair and participated
in track. I know there aren’t very many kids out there with a disability who
play sports at a high school level but I’m proud to say I a one of them. But sometimes
I feel alone too. I’ve never seen or heard of another high school soccer player
with CP but I know there out there somewhere. I feel as if I need to each
people that people with disabilities aren’t just meant for the sidelines and I think
my blog helps me do this but somehow I need to speak up and let the coaches
know that. I also recently discovered the U.S deaf National soccer teams and
when looking at the website I found the name of one of the many coaches I had
last season. She had been a former member of the team. I also came across an article
about her when she was playing in college. She had talked about how being deaf wasn’t
really a disability for her. I myself hate the word disability but still use it
because I don’t think people would understand my usage of being “different” or
having “obstacles”. I almost never think of myself having a disability because
that would be just plain weird if I woke up each day telling myself I had a
disability! She was the coach who was there when I scored my one goal last
season and gave me high praise after the game that day. I will never forget
that.
At this point all I can hope for is that things will work
themselves out while remembering to never give up on my dreams. One of my best friends
who is also trying out asked me this morning if I was still going to try out
and I said absolutely! Ive got nothing to lose. I really hope I can help her
because I know she wants the same dream as me. I think if she sees me not
giving up, she won’t either. Whatever
happens in the end, if I make it or not, I will still be playing soccer. Ive never
been able to play at the level I really want. Last year on JV2 no one cared
about what they were doing and it was hard because of the fact that I care about
the game so much. Looking back at all this I can take positives from this not matter
what. I learned a lot about myself as a person. Something within me as never
let me give up on my dream and I’ve become a stronger person because of it. I also
see other people, like my friend who aren’t willing to give up because I tell
them if I can do it, then do definitely can too. Looking back at all my great summers I've had
I will remember the summer I went to Disneyland, the summer I went to New York and
the summer I went to Hawaii. But this summer I hope to look back and remember this one as the summer I never gave up.
Hoping for GOOD news to come soon J
-Never Give Up
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